Sunday i took MC & its a bad-day for me. )):

in da afternoon, i was totally excited about da outing with someone, indeed im really happy when we went out. but jealousy blabla and things keep running through my-mind. da first time we meet scene run through my mind too. )): and i dontknow why im feeling jealous! nvm, and i end-ed up leaving early from them as i meet jiu mu& jiujiu for dinner. i didnt really wanna leave, but hai... i still did. sorry.

on da way home, on bus alone; a longlong jouney. started emo and all sort of dumb things; round& round.
...
phone ranged when i got home. im damn happy when it ranged! but i was crying damn badly when i put-down da phone. cant get to sleep at all. tears keep dropping while i run through my phone. ):
and i cry-dead to sleep.
...
next morning, wakeup for work. i cant open my eyes widely, eyes swollen.
tears when bathe, tears on da way to interchange, tears on mrt, tears while waiting for ann, tears when i heard ur voice in my mp3, tears when inbase is playing those songs, tears when talking to ann, yvonne. tears on da way home.
... totally i went madd, this is my first time feeling so weak.
...
monday night, sms pop out while im on mrt way home. someone ringed me on da way home, i feel so great! but in da same time im super-lost.
i wont cry anymore after hearing what you said. i'll be all right, maybe is im really really trying to be all-right.
...
today, i fool around during work, make myself busy. shop aroundd marina square to let time pass& pass without thinking of you. after work, i saw message but its from my cousin which i thought its from you. so dumb. my incharge keep consolling me on mrt but i really cant stop myself from missing you.
msg-ed you, while walking home, which seldom as you know, im really afraid that im disturbing you.
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phone ringed just when im done from bathe-ing. u slpt after afew minutes chat, i understand.. as you're really tired from school-ing. im really glad that you had ringed me though you're tired.
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i said byebye to myself into your dreams. i hanged da phone. online and browse through peoples blog, saw somethings which im not suppose to see. things came up again. you never... .. nevermind. ))':
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im really trying my very best to not tears for you again. but, ...
...
guess i should really.. do what everyones is telling me? im hurt-ed, its so hurted.
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i rather die, then to heard those words coming out from your mouth.
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im very very lost from dont-know where.
...
i cant do what you ask-ed me to. really i cant.. its not just about me, its... everythings.
maybe im da only one who felt so much..
dumb, yeap.. really i know im dumb. in fact, peoples who know this things, said im dumb. so what? i dont really care.. i din't ask much from you. i know what im doing, its my feeling for you. its not something u said STOP! and it will stop& kill right in da spot in front of you.
i din't ask for much, all i wanna do is to loveyou. i know, you dontwant me to.. but i cant stop this, i cant stop everything.
...
maybe just, can we be like together for one day? dumb Q.
...

hai.. its a super longlong post. i still got so so much to type it out. but forget it. i saw what im not suppose to see..
i lost to you.
i'll change my handphone number by next week or so. as im getting a new mobile, when my paid come and sign a contract line. i cant help keep topping-up my prepaid card. cos im spending off my money like water.
maybe,
will this help? ));
...
but i really hope, we will always keep in contact, to let me know how have you been.
everyday, every-night, im waiting for my hanphone to ring up& sms from you pop out.
everything about you.
...

p/s: im still in love with you, guess it wont go away so easily.
yeap, im dumb. but i wont change. i'll contiune to be dumb..
please, dont hideaway from me. i prayyy for all this wont happened. ))':
or.. i'll really go madd