[ it gonna be a super-emo post. so just close if you hate it.]

thou your post may mean nothing much but it just hit on me so much.
after reading your blog.
m' emo& sad.
tears silently when talking to tong on phone& also on the way home.):
- - -
im doing as much & everything i can for you.
but i know im useless..
i cut down on what ever i can, i dont even eat during break at work, i just fill my hunger with collegues biscults and bread, or just even plain water. i wanna save everything i can.
i know, its not just money, its about lots of things.
but i really give you everything i can, i mean everythings.
i didnt giveup all this while, and i wont.
why am i doing all this? just because of you.
- - -
i always wanna have a good chat, heart-to-heart talk with you.
i wanna know what you're thinking but seems like we're always running away.
i can always be there for you no matter what or when you need me but you chose to be alone or others. i wanna understand you more then the world. hai..
but seems like its useless, im useless instead.
- - -
im hurt& tired.
but i wont leave you no matter what, unless i heard those words from you& i'll forever disappear from you.

i wont giveup but i hope and pray that you wont give me up too.
i dreamt things between you& me last night. but i hope it will nvr come true.
i wanna be with you as long as possible, because i know, peoples know.. we wont last& you cant be in a relationship long. but i wanna prove that they're all wrong. i dontwanna lie to myself.
- - -
less then one month, which is next month i wont be working anymore.
i'll be going for eyes operation, i pray.. i could see this world again.
i want to see your face& this world.
im afraid, really do. when i can nvr see you.
i promise myself, once im blind, i'll kill myself, even my parent know it.
cause i dontwant to drag everyones down with me.
can we spend every single moment together happily? i treasure every moment wit you.):
- - -
i fell super deep, deeply for you.
thou we're like together for only one months plus& my feeling for you its like years.
peeps, said im dumb. i agree. but i wont change.
- - -
please.. .
hai, im lost.

an, i really loveyou deeply. )':